13 years ago
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Toddler Sleeping Issues
I need your parenting advice! Austin has always been a very good sleeper. He takes 2 hour naps and sleeps 9-10 hours a night. We got ourselves into a little situation that needs fixing. He got a big boy bed back in October and for the first few weeks everything was good. He stayed in bed and put himself to sleep after we read a few books. Now we have to lay down with him at night to get him to fall asleep. I tried the Super Nanny technique of putting him back in room time after time and not saying anything to him but at 7 months pregnant I got tired really fast. I have friends who have baby gates, locks on the door, and some that lay down with their kids. Now with 2 kids laying down with him for 30 minutes to 1 hour is not practical. I did get him to take a nap yesterday without laying down with him only because I held the door shut (no lock yet) and he cried for 45 minutes and finally crashed at the door. I can't do that everyday and don't want to. Any advice is appreciated. :)
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Jack still sleeps in our bed so I don't know that I can be that much help as far as advice goes; but, have you thought about getting rid of naptime? Maybe if he is tired enough at night, you won't have to lay down with him. Just a thought. Like I said, I am definitely not a good source of advice on this particular subject : )
We've recently gone through a similar situation with Miles. He sleeps with us, but I don't go to bed at 8:00pm and I was tired of having to lay with him until he went to sleep. I started closing the door like you did, but Miles gave up after less than 10 minutes and after day 2 we were down to less than a minute of crying. He did fall asleep on the floor a couple of times, but after about a week he was staying in bed and not coming to the door. I don't know, maybe it won't take 45 minutes next time? I should actually be taking advice from you because at least you have your toddler in his own bed! :) Good luck!!
I do think after a few days it will take less and less time. The main thing is consistency. If you let him win even one time he'll continue fighting. If he has something he likes sleeping with (animals, blanket, cars, etc) you can say "if you get out of bed i'm taking it away" or start rewarding staying in bed with a treat (like with potty training) although it may not work since he couldn't get the treat until the morning! I will also threaten a spank if mine keep getting out of bed and being naughty, but I realize not everyone does that...especially not supper nanny! Have fun!
I have thought about doing away with naptime, especially since it takes so long to get him down and now I have a newborn to care for. If he doesn't get a nap he throws tantrums starting around 6pm or so which makes for a real fun evening! He could probably go without a nap on the days we stay home but on school days he has to have one. He does go down easier when he skips nap.
Oh! You poor thing! That has got to be SO frustrating! Okay, definitely try a gate. Put on some soothing music. Does he have a noisy fan to block out noise? Reward him with a treat when he gets up, but only if he doesn't scream and fuss...The only other thing I can think of is maybe you could get one of those bed tents (I'm sure they have firetruck ones) to make it "cooler" to stay in his bed---then tell him he cannot get out of his bed. It's good that you realize things need to change. You're right; you have to stop lying down with him, though. You just don't have that luxury anymore! Good luck! I do not evy your situation! I hope that sweet boy adjusts soon...
We've gone through similar situations at certain phases. At around 3, I found that reading right before bed actually stimulated them. Of course I was working with different circumstances. It was more like a class of children vs. one on one. We went to reading, then I would curl up and watch a little television with them. We still have "settle down" time before bed, but I don't have to be right with them. I just find this calms them most nights. I also never let them sleep past 3 or 3:30.
One time when I had trouble getting them to stay in their beds without getting up, I gave them a ticket each night. If they stayed in bed they got to keep their ticket. If they got up, I took their ticket. After they earned so many tickets, I let them get something from a treasure box (dollar store stuff). At first, I let them have something only after a few tickets and then I kept increasing it. To be honest this never took more than a couple of weeks until they had the hang of it and then I didn't even have to do the ticket thing. Now, mine were more like 3.5 when I was doing this so I don't know if at 3 he could understand earning tickets for a prize...later. Good luck! I don't envy those days.
Hi April!
I will just share what we have done with Macy. When we moved her out at the crib, right when she turned 2, she moved to a big girl bed. I immediately put a gate on, mainly so I could sleep better knowing that she was in her room and not wandering the house at night. Plus, at 2, I didn't feel she had complete understanding to stay in her room. So when she was old enough to understand about staying in her room (after 3), we took it off and the first few nights she was perfectly good about staying and then she starting to test her freedom. So after trying a couple of things, we finally put reversed door knob on her door (lock on outside) and calmly explained to her one morning that this is how it is going to be from now on. She can sleep with the door cracked open, but the time she leaves her room, the door will be locked. We thankfully only had to do this once. (It was a horrible fit). She slept in her room like that for acouple months, but we had to go back to the gate now that she and Charlie are sharing since I think he is too young to have that freedom of an open door.
Seth and I did not want to have a family bed at all, so them sleeping with us was never an option and I followed Babywise with all of them, so I think that helped understand that it is important for them to learn how to go to sleep on their own, so I never laid down with them. (I don't even wait for Emma to go to sleep, I just put her in the crib when she is still awake).
I would personally not give up the nap time. I still make Macy have a naptime/restime. She doesn't sleep every day, but some days she does, but I still make her stay in her room for that time.
I am by far a parenting expert, but I hope this helped! You are definately not alone in this struggle, I think it is safe to say EVERY parent has gone through this.
ha, sorry I didn't realize my comment was that long.
Have you thought of using nighttime cold & cough medicine? Usually knocks them out in 20 - 30 minutes...
No, Jay I don't plan on doping my kids up before night time but it does help when he isn't feeling well.
Thanks for all the advice so far! For some reason naptime and last night went really well last night. He got out of his bed 1 time at naptime and none last night! :) Maybe all I had to do was blog about the situation and it would get better? Who know...maybe all my praying helped too?
Don't give up his nap! I would try napping him later so that you know he is really tired and starting a new routine that is easy and leads up to his naptime. Nothing big- just something simple like a show or a puzzle that he can do himself or even playing in the bathtub while you feed the baby. Change it up a little and do it while Nick is there and then stick to your guns so that he knows that lunch then Wonder Pets equals sleep. When David has started this I have done stuff to really wear him out, then given him a bath and put him in his pajamas and it fakes his body into taking a long nap. Once you get him used to napping you won't have to go to great lengths. :)
Jess from Texas- I hope people know my hubby Jay was only being his sarcastic self, of course we do not dope up our kids either...lol. You know my stance on the subject, a baby gate saved our life!
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